


I won't go down, your blushing bride

by felinedetached



Series: the Rebel ‘verse [1]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, BAMF Haruno Sakura, F/F, Fix-It, in which sakura is kinda disillusioned after sasuke leaves, tbh all the girls are BAMF but this is sakuras pov so
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-28
Updated: 2018-06-28
Packaged: 2019-05-29 19:55:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,186
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15080558
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/felinedetached/pseuds/felinedetached
Summary: (Three things come after that:1. The moment of realisation. The moment she realises Sasuke’s left the village, gone off to do who knows what withOrochimaru-2. Her memory returns to her - she wasuselessagainst her teammate; taken down by apressure pointand unable to do anything to prevent him from getting at it.3. Innerrages, throws herself around, cursing and screaming until finally,finallyshe calms and she saysUchiha Sasuke is a traitor.)In which Sakura gets the character development she deserved.





	I won't go down, your blushing bride

**Author's Note:**

> > _Do not try me Devil, Devil_  
>  _Cannot buy me Devil, Devil_  
>  _You won't make a fool of me, oh no_  
>  _What makes you so special, special_  
>  _To think I would ever settle_  
>  _For that devious dance between you and me Devil, Devil_  
> 
> 
> \- [ Devil, Devil - MILCK](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jEMrDXP8vs4)

When Haruno Sakura is thirteen, she watches her world go black. It’s not like falling asleep - not at all like that - it’s encroaching darkness, the dense, heavy,  _ suffocating _ feeling of desperation. It’s tinged with betrayal, but her eyes slip shut and her world becomes nothing before she even hits the ground.

 

* * *

 

She wakes up to voices, the ache of sleeping on hard ground and a jolting pain in her knees; the kind from a bruise she’s not entirely sure how she got. 

 

“Hey,” A voice says - Chunin; they’re wearing the flak jacket - “It’s unhealthy to sleep outside, you know?”

 

(Three things come after that:

 

  1. The moment of realisation. The moment she realises Sasuke’s left the village, gone off to do who knows what with _Orochimaru_ -
  2. Her memory returns to her - she was _useless_ against her teammate; taken down by a _pressure point_ and unable to do anything to prevent him from getting at it.
  3. Inner _rages_ , throws herself around, cursing and screaming until finally, _finally_ she calms and she says _Uchiha Sasuke is a traitor_.)



 

Haruno Sakura looks up at the two Chunin walking past her, in the direction of the Hokage’s office and says, completely and utterly calm, “Uchiha Sasuke has defected.”

 

The Chunin freezes, really  _ looks  _ at her, sitting on one of the stone benches that lined one of the paths out of the village, knees bruised, nose red and hair a mess.

 

“You better come with us to the Hokage,” the other Chunin says and Sakura gets up without complaint, following as her escort picks up the pace.

 

* * *

 

When she walks into Tsunade-sama’s office, her knees shake. But she stands tall, declares in just the same way that her teammate has defected and sees both anger and pity in the Hokage’s eyes. But she watches as Shikamaru is summoned, watches as a team comprised of Chunin and Genin leaves after Sasuke; leaving her behind, because she’s  _ weak _ , unable to do  _ anything _ against  _ anyone _ .

 

_ This can’t stand _ , Inner says, grim and determined,  _ we have to get stronger _ .

 

Sakura agrees, silently, standing in the Hokage’s office and looking out over a village in ruins.

 

(A village she can’t defend.)

 

“Was there something else you needed, Haruno?” Tsunade-sama says and Inner’s voice lights up in her head almost instantly.

 

_ Ask her to help you _ .

 

“I need to get stronger,” she tells the Hokage, “I need to be able to protect Konoha and my precious people.”

 

“I wish you luck, Haruno,” Tsunade-sama says. Sakura almost droops, but Sasuke stood with a spine of steel, as did Ino and Naruto and Tsunade-sama herself, so she refuses to.

 

She knows a dismissal when she sees one, so she turns, leaves, heads for the library.

 

_ Paper-ninja _ , Inner taunts, but it doesn’t hold the same weight anymore.

 

She is a paper-ninja. She learns best from books and scrolls, when she knows the theory before she attempts it. So she goes to the library, lists  her name, rank and registration number ( _ Haruno Sakura, Genin, 012601 _ ) and she begins to read.

 

Two hours later finds her with a stack of scrolls on genjutsu by her side - she’s a genjutsu type, she  _ knows _ this and  _ knows _ that it will come easily to her, with her chakra control.

 

_ You have such abysmal reserves, though _ , Inner sighs, chasting and annoyed all at once,  _ find something that helps you work on that _ .

 

And so she learns meditation, learns how to pull the chakra from deep inside her body and send it flowing through her body. She sits in the library through the morning, absorbing all she can and trains in the afternoon, building up reserves through meditation and practising the tree and water walking techniques Kakashi-sensei taught her in Wave.

 

It’s here that she meets Team Gai.  _ Really  _ meets them - not just -  _ competing  _ against them in an exam. They’re training together in the nearby grounds - spars and exercises, being corrected and overseen by their Jounin-sensei. Sakura’s enraptured almost instantly - how could she not be?

 

Tenten is gorgeous, a force of nature and everything Sakura wants to be. She’s strong and independent and good with weapons; and  _ she  _ wouldn’t have been taken out by a lone teammate and a pressure point. 

 

Neji is pretty, Sakura can admit that. But he’s strong; and he communicates with his team in a way Sasuke never did. He keeps his hair long, like all Huuga, but ensures that no one could even attempt to grab it ( _ the sound-nin’s hand entangles in her hair as they wrench her head backwards, laughing _ ) - she spots things in his hair, in Tenten’s hair, glints of silvery metal. If someone tried, they’d have only a fucked-up hand to show for it. 

 

Lee is - interesting. He’s  _ strong _ , destroying training posts and trees and the ground with his manoeuvres. He doesn’t  _ need _ chakra to be terrifying; and that’s a terrifying thing in and of itself. 

 

So she watches them until Neji calls her out, until Gai comes over with a bright smile and a shout of her name and offers to let her train with them - “You are my eternal rival’s student, yes? Then I shall train you! Join us!” - and she accepts. 

 

_ They can make us strong _ , Inner croons. 

 

Sakura goes home that night bruised and tired and not-quite-so broken, with the realisation that there are people out there - there are  _ Jounin _ out there - who will train her, if she gains the courage to ask. 

 

(Or, in the case of Gai, with no prompting whatsoever.)

 

* * *

 

She spends the afternoons with Gai and his team after that and before long, she’s spending her mornings looking for teachers. She’s actually looking for Kurenai when she finds Mitarashi Anko, the proctor for the second stage of the Chunin exams and ex-student to Orochimaru; with dango stick in hand and swearing up a storm. It’s when she  _ launches the wooden stick at a shopkeeper _ \- with  _ pinpoint accuracy _ \- that Sakura decides she wants Anko to teach her.

 

_ God _ , Inner says,  _ I wish we were like that _ .

 

So she waits; and when Anko leaves the market she follows.

 

“Mitarashi-san!” she says, half running to catch up to the older Kunoichi, “Could you-”

 

Anko spins, fixing Sakura with a glare that would have torn her limb from limb if looks could really kill. “Could I what?” she spits, enough venom in her voice that Sakura flinches to a stop. But she  _ really _ wants Anko to teach her how to do that - she wants to get  _ stronger _ and Sakura would bet Anko’s one of the strongest Kunoichi in the village other than Tsunade-sama herself.

 

“Teach me?” she finishes; and it spills out in a mortifying,  _ telling _ rush - betraying her fear and her excitement all at once. “It’s just - my teammate defected to Oto - to Orochimaru - and I  _ need _ to get stronger to stop him.” Anko’s face darkens and for a moment, Sakura thinks she made a horrible,  _ horrible _ mistake in bringing up Orochimaru.

 

“If you can keep up,” Anko says, abrupt and wholly unkind, “I’ll train you.”

 

_ That was a quick acceptance _ , Inner says. Sakura hisses at her to shut up.

 

“Thank-you, Anko-sensei!” she says, smiling as bright as she can, only for Anko to let out a short, harsh laugh.

 

“Thank me later, Pinky,” she says, teeth bared in a pantomime of a grin, “when you  _ really _ start working with me.” Anko turns to leave, when Sakura reaches out a hand to stop her.

 

“Wait! Where do you want to meet?”

 

Anko grins again, all teeth and venom and terror and says, “The Forest of Death. 6 am tomorrow. See you there, Pinky.”

 

* * *

 

Her days leave her exhausted, training in weaponry and dodging and poisons with Anko and Taijutsu with Gai. Her parents are asleep by the time she gets home, asleep when she gets up. She learns to be quiet, learns to eat more and more because dieting does nothing but make her  _ weak _ ; and if she is weak, she will die on her first mission.

 

She can’t afford to die. So she bleeds and sweats and cries and drowns in her work, learning everything she can from everyone she can. She goes to Kurenai-sensei, to Asuma-sensei and Shikamaru, to Ino and Inochi-san and Ibiki-san and she learns everything they offer to teach. She goes to Shizune and the hospital and reads books and scrolls on anatomy and poison and  _ fucking pressure points _ , teaching herself and learning from others in equal measure.

 

Kakashi-sensei comes to her at one point, offers to teach her Kenjutsu. She pulls out the sword given to her by Tenten, the one broken in by Kotetsu and Izumo and even Tenten herself, when she isn’t busy throwing kunai and shuriken and senbon and teaching her how to do the same.

 

He is better than her, Sakura knows this. She knows that if they spar, her old teacher will beat her soundly - but she also knows he underestimates her. He looks at her and he still sees the long-haired fangirl who thought more about her looks and her hair than she did about being a Kunoichi. 

 

(They do spar and he trounces her, thoroughly, but there is a half-second at the beginning where she  _ surprises _ him, where she’s  _ winning _ .)

 

Kakashi-sensei laughs, pulls her up from the ground and says; “Could use some work.”

 

Sakura grins back, bright and cheerful as possible. “Just means you still have things to teach me, right?”

 

* * *

 

She’s thirteen when Kakashi-sensei gives her a piece of paper and tells her to channel chakra into it. She’s thirteen when she finds out that she has not one, but  _ two _ elemental affinities; and that they are the same as those that Senju Hashirama combined to create the Mokuton. She doesn’t voice that thought, though; lets Kakashi teach her elemental jutsu and watches how he glows when she succeeds.

 

_ Maybe he needed to be a teacher _ , Inner observes,  _ he wasn’t great at it, at first, but he learnt and he needed it - the chance, I mean. The chance to be something more than whatever he was before _ .

 

Sakura is inclined to agree.

 

* * *

 

“You’re a terror,” Tsunade of the Sannin tells her and Sakura smiles, all teeth and poison, thirteen years old with her Chunin flak jacket resting on her Hokage’s desk. “How would you like to learn to be a medic?”

 

Sakura remembers being twelve, remembers looking at Tsunade-sama and thinking  _ I want to be like her _ . She remembers Inner’s advice from what feels like years ago and was barely six months ago and she thinks of all the people she already trains with and spars with and learns from, cycling through teachers and teams to learn all she can and she thinks  _ what’s one more _ ?

 

She can kill and fight and heal all at once, become a powerhouse like her teammate always was - like  _ Sasuke _ always was, before he defected. Like he likely is now. “I would like that, Tsunade-sama,” she says, bowing her head.

 

“Call me shishou,” Tsunade says, “sama makes me feel old.”

 

Sakura looks up, into harsh brown eyes. “Okay, Tsunade-shishou.”

 

“I won’t go easy on you,” the Hokage warns.

 

Sakura smiles again, bared teeth and a spine of steel and says, as confident as she’s ever been, “Good.”

 

* * *

 

For the next six months, she’s thrown back and forwards between her teachers. It’s - well - it’s hell, in the best way possible. She goes home each night completely and utterly exhausted, smelling like blood and sweat and salt and fish. Sakura doesn’t take many missions anymore - she can’t, really, a solo chunin overtaken by studies on a mission?

 

And then, a year after Naruto left the village, a year and a month after Sasuke defected, she  _ does _ get a mission. She’s sent with two tokubetsu jounin - Shiranui Genma, proctor of the third stage of the Chunin exams and Anko-sensei - on an assassination mission.

 

“It’s only a B-rank,” Tsunade-shishou tells them as she tosses Genma the mission scroll, “but Haruno’s only got D-ranks and a single A-rank under her belt, so I thought I’d send you two with her. Return my student alive, got it?”

 

Anko’s smile is a mirror of the one Sakura gave all those months ago, when she slipped into her chunin flak jacket for the first time - all teeth and dripping with poison. “I wouldn’t let your student do anything I wouldn’t let my own do,” she says.

 

Genma snorts at that, the senbon in his mouth reflecting the light as it lifts with the movement. “She’ll be fine, Hokage-sama. From what I’ve heard, she’s a menace.”

 

Neither Tsunade or Anko dispute that and Sakura grins unashamedly at the Tokojo. He just sighs, cracking open the mission scroll. Whatever he reads makes him frown and he tosses the scroll to Anko, high over Sakura’s head. She’d try to catch it, but she’s of a lower rank than her mission partners, so there’s really no need. Anko-sensei will show her anyway. Probably.

 

“Ugh,” Anko says, just as frustrated by the contents of the scroll as Genma was; the only difference being that she’s voicing it. “Why  _ Earth _ ? I hate Earth Country.”

 

“Because that’s the mission, Mitarashi,” Tsunade-shishou glares, not even the slightest bit irritated. She’s  _ amused _ \- Sakura’s curious now. How do her teachers know each other? “Now scram, I’ve got a bottle of sake with my name on it.” Anko gives a sarcastic salute, Genma a more formal one. Sakura bows slightly and follows her mission partners from the room.

 

“Meet up by the main gates, 06:00 tomorrow?” Genma asks and Anko agrees, her ever-present mildly deranged smile fixed in place.

 

“Works for me,” she says, “I’m gonna help our little chunin partner pack.”

 

“I don’t need help packing, Anko-sensei!” Sakura protests, but Anko just drags her into a headlock and rubs her knuckles along her head.

 

“Aw, c’mon Pinky, I know you can get out of that and it’s no fun when you don’t fight back!”

 

“That’s exactly why I don’t fight back, Anko-sensei,” Sakura says dryly, but doesn’t argue when Anko lets go, waving goodbye to Genma and heading off towards Sakura’s house. She follows suit, nodding to Genma and getting a wave in return before she heads off to stop Anko from turning her house into a war zone.

 

* * *

 

“Don’t ever let Anko pack for you,” Sakura informs Genma as they stand in front of the main gate, waiting for the aforementioned Tokojo. “She’s a mess and packs more poison than she does literally anything else.”

 

Genma snorts, ruffling Sakura’s hair. She’s been trying to grow it back out, so that she can thread poisoned ninja wire through her braids. “I do the same, kiddo,” he says.

 

“I’m a chunin,” she deadpans.

 

“Kiddo,” Genma grins back, his senbon a flash of silver caught between his teeth.

 

“You didn’t leave without me, did you, boys?” Anko says, bouncing towards them. She’s got dango in hand - of course she does - and she lets Sakura snag one when she gets close. Genma tries and almost loses a hand to the snakes in her sleeve. Sakura snickers, letting one of them sliver from Anko’s unbound sleeves onto her arm. “You thought about if you’re going to take the snake or the slug contract, yet?” Anko asks her as she follows Genma’s leap into the trees. Sakura gives a sarcastic salute to the gate guards - Kotetsu and Izumo, this time - and follows them.

 

“Sasuke will have more of a claim to the snakes,” Sakura observes quietly, “Because Orochimaru would have had him sign the contract. They won’t fight each other, if Sasuke and I have a fight, so I think I’ll have to sign the Slug Contract.”

 

“The second coming of the Sannin,” Genma says, a few steps in front of them. “I didn’t believe you when you said it, Anko, but you’re right.”

 

“Ha!” Anko crows, “thanks Genma! Kakashi owes me 50 ryo now!” Sakura snorts, used to her various teacher’s inane conversations and bets. 

 

“What’d he bet you?”  Genma asks, amusement colouring his voice. 

 

“He said that everyone woulda figured out they’re the second coming of the Sannin by now, what with Tsunade teaching Pinky, here.” Anko grins, venom and harsh victory and Sakura snorts again. 

 

“He forgets that half of the village doesn’t know what, exactly, he’s doing with Jiraiya,” she says, ignoring the flinched shock from both of her mission partners. “The civilian council just think Jiraiya’s containing the demon, don’t they? Of course they’d have no idea. And then there’s the fact that most of the younger or lower-ranked ninja don’t even know he’s with Jiraiya at all. With all this in effect, it’s no wonder Anko won the bet. I could have called it as soon as you guys started it.”

 

“Anko,” Genma says slowly, “your student is a menace.”

 

* * *

 

It takes three days to get to the border of the stone country; three days in which Anko and Genma teach her everything they can. Genma’s as good as - or almost  _ better _ than - Anko is at poisons, dipping his senbon into them and laughing at her shocked looks as he bites down on the end. “You can work up to being immune, you know,” he says, “to some poisons, at least. I wouldn’t recommend trying with others.”

 

Sakura cocks her head, observing her teammate and running through the pros and cons of trying this. “Will you teach me?” she asks, eventually. Genma grins at her, poison-coated senbon reflecting the light.

 

“Sure,” he says, “after this mission, though, because you will get sick.”

 

“Yeah, it’s not a great idea to be processing poison while on an assassination mission!” Anko calls from the edge of the camp, “Genma, you’re on watch first. I’m exhausted.”

 

Genma groans and Sakura laughs at the look on his face - like he’d rather be anywhere but here. 

 

* * *

 

It’s an in-and-out mission - assassinate the noble, don’t get caught, return to Konoha for payment. Sakura makes her first true kill that night, slitting the noble’s throat as he sleeps. Blood runs red over her hands and the bed and the noble chokes on his own blood, dies breathless and in pain because it’s not  _ slow _ , but it’s not a fast way to go either. She feels nothing.

 

_ It’s easy to kill _ , Inner says, quiet, subdued in a way unlike her at all,  _ is it supposed to be easy to kill? All of the books say it’s not _ .

 

She asks Anko. “It is easy,” her teacher tells her, “It’s scarily easy to kill. The hard part is dealing with the fact that you’ve killed someone after you do it.”

 

_ Okay _ , Inner says,  _ we killed someone. We slit his throat and he bled out over our hands. We felt his pulse go out. Are we okay? _

 

Sakura thinks for a moment; and says, “What if dealing with it is easy too?”

 

Anko smiles, but it’s a sad smile. “I’m glad dealing with it is easy,” she says and Sakura knows there’s something she’s not being told.

 

* * *

 

(“ _ We’ve ruined her!” Anko practically yells, “She had her first assassination mission three days ago and she killed the guy and felt nothing!” _

 

_ “Do we send her to therapy?” Kurenai asks, worry toning her voice, “What do we do?” _

 

_ “She’s a genius,” Kakashi says, grim, “She’ll rise through the ranks faster than any of us, because of us and there’s nothing we can do now.” _

 

_ Tsunade sighs. “I’ll ask Inochi to talk to her. She’s too good to afford to lose her.” _

 

_ “It’s not losing her I’m worried about,” Anko says, “but yeah. Therapy will do her good, I think _ .”)

 

* * *

 

She goes to therapy with Inochi, tells him about Inner and the dull, detached way she feels sometimes. They talk and it helps, a little - she gets ways to cope, ways to focus so that she doesn’t feel so detached anymore. She starts training less, talking to Ino more. It’s slow, but she gains friends in their year again; friends in Shikamaru and Shino and Hinata and Kiba.

 

Ino’s the same as her, in some ways - not detached, but disillusioned, getting stronger. Shikamaru’s the same, giving her games of Shogi and a place to go when she feels like she’s alone, or that no one understands her. He calls her troublesome, but he’s a lazy genius - an oxymoron he hadn’t quite understood until now.

 

“You could have been rookie of the year,” she tells him at one point, head pillowed on his shoulder.

 

“Mh,” Shikamaru says, in that way that means he doesn't really care. “Didn’t want it.”

 

Sakura laughs, lighter than she has in a while. “Of course you didn’t.”

 

Shino, Hinata and Kiba came as a package - a trio, recently Chunin, with the same experience as Sakura.

 

“We’re a tracking team,” Hinata explains, once, calm where she once would have stammered, “which means we’re a good team for stealth and assassination, too.”

 

Kiba’s smile is as feral and energetic as always, but there’s something dark under there too. “Bet me ‘n Akamaru could beat you, Sakura.” She grins back, less feral but just as dark, a promise of metal and poison deep within her.

 

“You’re on, dog-breath,” she says and proceeds to thoroughly trounce him with Hinata and Shino as referees. 

 

She still has her friends, still has Genma teaching her poisons and helping her make herself immune to some, still has Anko and her snakes, Shizune and  _ her _ poisons - and, wow, Sakura really deals with a lot of people who like poisons - Kakashi and his nin-dogs, Tsunade, Kotetsu and Izumo, even  _ Ibiki _ . She still trains with them and goes on missions with them and lets them buy her dango.

 

But she has other friends too now and when she tells Inochi this, he smiles like he’s relieved. “Good,” he says, “I’m glad.”

 

* * *

 

When she signs the slug contract, she finds friends in them too. She earns her place as their contractor; spending what seemed like  _ months _ in their care but had really only been a week.

 

“They accepted me,” is the first thing she tells Tsunade-shishou when she gets back, the scent of acid and moss embedded in her clothes.

 

“I always knew they would,” her master/teacher/Hokage/friend says, treating her to a smile that feels like victory. “I’m proud of you, Sakura.”

 

* * *

 

At first, she thought it was just friendship - Ino teaching her flower names and buying her dango and taking her for walks around Konoha. They’re probably both a little fucked up, because sometimes Ino takes Sakura with her into T&I and it’s, well. It’s not  _ fun _ , but it’s educational, something they don’t mind doing -  _ you like doing it, don’t deny it, _ Inner says, deep in her head - and something they’re good at.

 

But there’s more dango, more flowers, more long walks through the forest just outside the walls and Sakura grows aware of a fluttering in her chest, like the butterflies that beat against the windows when they get stuck in the Yamanaka greenhouses.

 

She asks Tenten about it, during a break in their training and she laughs, bright and beautiful and gives Sakura a blinding smile. “You’re in love with her, Sakura,” she says.

 

_ I could have told you that, dummy, _ Inner says.

 

_ Why didn’t you _ ? Sakura asks.

 

_ Because this felt nothing like Sasuke. _

 

Sakura gets it; and she leaves Inner alone.

 

“I don’t think I’ve ever been in love,” she says out loud, laying back on the grass. It’s soft; and it tickles her arms through her shirt. “There was Sasuke, but I don’t think that was love.”

 

“I couldn’t tell you,” Tenten says, “but I can say that I think you two are good for each other. You should tell her.”

 

Sakura thinks for a moment, before accepting the proffered arm and hauling herself up. “Maybe.”

 

They go back to sparring.

 

* * *

 

She tells Genma next, poison burning a path down her oesophagus. “I think I like Ino.”

 

“In a more than friend way?” He asks, observing her carefully. “How’s that poison feeling?”

 

“Yes,” she says; and then because there’s nothing else, “Like fire.”

 

“Good,” Genma replies. Sakura never figures out if he’s talking about Ino or the poison.

 

* * *

 

“I think I like Ino,” she says, the clouds floating slowly by above her.

 

“You’ve liked her for a while,” Shikamaru replies. “I’m surprised it’s taken this long for you to figure it out.”

 

“Tenten said I should tell her.”

 

“You should.”

 

* * *

 

Haruno Sakura makes Jounin at fifteen years old, two years after she made Chunin, two and a half years after she made Genin. She asks Yamanaka Ino to date her that day; kisses her for the first time two days later. Sakura smiles and Ino laughs and their friends congratulate them.

 

“Akamaru and I have been able to smell it on you for  _ ages _ ,” Kiba says, nudging Sakura with his shoulder. “I’m glad you two finally worked it out. The tension's been crazy.”

 

Sakura laughs, shoves him lightly back and watches him stumble, surprise written across his face.

 

“Congrats!” Hinata says, from her other side, “I’m glad you found someone.” Her face is red and Sakura smirks, leaning in.

 

“What, there someone you like, Hinata-chan?”

 

“Uhm!” she squeaks and Sakura laughs, bright and loud and  _ happy _ .

 

“You don’t have to tell me.”

 

“Ah,” Hinata says.

 

_ She’s cute _ , Inner says,  _ endearing, you know? Like a lamb. Needs some self-confidence when she’s not killing people _ .

 

_ Some lamb _ , Sakura thinks back.

 

* * *

 

Ino takes her on another date and kisses her breathless behind the academy. Sakura takes these memories, treasured as they are; and she keeps them with Inner, who will protect them from  _ anything _ , Sharingan and clan jutsu included.

 

She doesn’t talk about Ino in therapy, because Inochi-san is Ino’s  _ dad _ and that’s weird, but she goes to Genma and she tells him about any troubles (there are few of those) and the things she just  _ has _ to tell someone, because they’re the best memories she’s had in a long time (there are many of these).

 

Before she knows it, they’ve been dating for three months and September 23rd, Ino’s sixteenth birthday. Sakura gifts her a beautifully elaborate hair clip; and a book on Water techniques. Ino kisses her senseless and Sakura shouts her both dango and Yakiniku Q. They go back to the Yamanaka’s later that night, where Ino’s family hosts a party. The whole day is almost surreal; too good to be true - calm, bright, sunny. It’s not warm because it’s  _ September _ , but curled up by the fire after the party dies down, hot chocolate in her hand and Ino’s head resting on her shoulder, she can almost forget that.

 

* * *

 

When she gets into ANBU, she pulls Ino into her room and tells her, breathless and excited and maybe a little worried too. She’s good at what she does and she  _ knows _ it; but ANBU is a dark place.

 

“You’ll be okay,” Ino says, “You’ve got the Yamanaka clan on your side if you even show the _slightest_ _hint_ of being unable to handle it.” Then, she smiles, bittersweet; and says, “I’m proud of you.”

 

Sakura smiles back; knows it is not as sweet as she’d wished and more an uncomfortable mirror of the one given to her; and says “Thank you.”

 

ANBU Crow joins the ranks, her mask a horrible, horrible irony.

 

* * *

 

Sakura’s fifteen and a Jounin when Naruto comes back; fifteen, just like her, but still a Genin. Kakashi has them re-do the bell test, minus a previous teammate, but Sakura finds that she’s okay with that. They get the bells this time, dangle them in front of Kakashi’s face in a taunting jangle. He growls, quietly; leaps up to try and take them from her and Sakura darts away, laughing.

 

_ Naruto’s so confused _ , Inner says, amusement running through her to Sakura in a current; fresh and bright and new. 

 

_ I think I kind of like that _ , Sakura thinks back.

 

(She knows it’s petty, to think “I’m the last loyal member of team seven” when she  _ knows _ Naruto’s loyal; but she can’t help it. He  _ left _ , left her and Kakashi alone with the knowledge of her uselessness and Sasuke’s new status as a traitor. Sakura doesn’t forgive that fast.)

 

* * *

 

There’s a sighting of Orochimaru - of  _ Sasuke _ . Tsunade-shishou sends her after him, with Naruto, another Jounin called Tenzou (Kakashi’s needed on another mission, a  _ dangerous _ one - probably an ANBU one) and a Genin called Sai that Sakura’s never seen in her life. Tsunade-shishou looks apologetic, but she’s still sending her.

 

Sakura… doesn’t really mind. There’s anger, of course; and betrayal, but it’s all the leftover emotions from Sasuke. She could handle this mission perfectly fine on her own.

 

But there’s an underlying sense of worry, as well - worry for Naruto, about their teammates. So when Naruto and Sai and Tenzou leave, Sakura stays and Tsunade-shishou sighs. “I’m presuming you want to know about your new teammates?”

 

Sakura nods, says; “I feel like I know Tenzou, but I don’t know where from, so I’m presuming ANBU. But Sai - I know most of the village by now; and I’ve never seen him before.”

 

Chakra flares, heavy and oppressive and the silencing seals activate. Sakura swallows her trepidation as Tsunade-shishou fixes her in place with stern brown eyes. “There is an organisation called ROOT-” she starts; and Sakura learns, for the first time, about the councilman known as Danzo and his horrific acts, of which there is no proof. She learns of Tenzou’s mission - to ensure the Kyuubi does not run rampant - and settles her suspicion of him; and she learns of his secondary mission - to watch Sai for signs of betrayal. She learns that her true mission is to bring Sasuke Uchiha back to face trial, regardless of what she has to do to him to do so. “You’re the best I have,” Tsunade-shishou finishes, tired but still commanding; still Konoha’s Godaime Hokage. “Return the Uchiha to face trial.”

 

“Yes, Shishou,” Sakura says, firm and harsh in all the ways she has to be this mission. For this, she isn’t Sakura of Team Seven - not that Team Seven is even in  _ rotation _ anymore - but Haruno Sakura, Jounin of Konohagakure.

 

_ Naruto will hate you, after this, _ Inner says, concern colouring her voice.

 

(Sakura doesn’t think she can handle that, but it’s okay. It’s for Konoha; and Haruno Sakura, Jounin of Konohagakure, will do  _ anything _ for Konoha.)

 

* * *

 

He’s in the Land of Hot Springs, for some absurd reason - what does Orochimaru have to do in the Land of Hot Springs? Sakura doesn’t know and honestly, doesn’t really care. Her mission isn’t “find out what Orochimaru’s doing in the Land of Hot Springs” - that mission goes to Jiraiya - her mission is “return the Uchiha to Konoha, through use of force if necessary”.

 

(It’s a glorified kidnapping. Sakura doesn’t care.)

 

She isn’t expecting it, though, when she finally comes face-to-face with him. She isn’t expecting his disdain, how his blank stare and uncaring words strike Naruto right through the core. But she perfected the art of detachment a long time ago, with her first kill and with her therapy and she knows she can’t afford to let emotion cloud her vision.

 

So she stands, impassive, as Naruto begs him to come home, as Sasuke rebuffs him; and she realises that she  _ will _ need to use force.

 

_ Was that really ever in question? _ Inner asks wryly.

 

_ No, _ Sakura realises,  _ No it really wasn’t _ .

 

(She was always going to have to use force.)

 

Sasuke appears next to Naruto, moving fast enough that she didn’t even think to track him -  _ stupid _ , Inner scolds,  _ you’ve gotten better, of course he has too _ \- and she draws her tanto in response, leaping towards him and forcing him back.

 

She lands in front of her team, facing her old teammate, and says: “Uchiha Sasuke, traitor to Konohagakure. I have been charged with bringing you back for trial.”

 

“Sakura-chan?” Naruto says behind her, hesitant and almost broken-sounding. “What are you doing?”

 

“Her job,” Tenzou says and Sakura tunes them out, focusing on Sasuke. He says nothing, but he’s watching her weirdly. She grins, malice dripping from bared teeth and says;

 

“I’ve been authorised to use force if necessary.” 

 

Sasuke draws his blade to match her own, but he’s like Kakashi - a mask without the mask; the antithesis of what Anko is like. It’s interesting, to see how different they are even with the same teacher.

 

They clash; and Sakura discovers early on that Sasuke’s faster than her, just slightly. She’s stronger, though, but Sasuke charges his blade with lightning chakra so she  _ can’t _ get near without getting herself electrocuted.

 

Sakura is used to hit and run fights, assassination tactics designed for getting in and getting out as fast as possible. Even in her spars, drawn-out fights aren’t her forte; she’ll lose if Anko or Asuma or Kakashi forces her to fight them in the open. She can’t afford to lose here.

 

_ Use the Senbon _ , Inner says, hurried,  _ you know the ones - the ones with that new paralytic on them. _

 

So she does - she pulls them from the pouch on her leg; a mixture of poison-coated and normal, clean ones. She sees Sai catch on out of the corner of her eye, throw himself into the fray, herding Sasuke towards her.

 

_ He works with us surprisingly well, _ Inner says,  _ maybe it’s because he’s ROOT _ .

_ Maybe _ , Sakura thinks back,  _ maybe, maybe, maybe. _

 

(Maybe it’s because she works well with everyone. She has to.)

 

But her next poison-tipped senbon hits Sasuke in the shoulder and he pulls it out, tosses it to the side, not bothering to look - to  _ think _ and Sakura’s grin is feral. She wasn’t aiming for any pressure points, any chakra points, because she may be a medic-nin but if she started aiming for those, he’d try harder to avoid the senbon. So she threw them like she doesn’t know where they are, watched Sasuke take two of the ‘safe’ senbon to the leg and realise -  _ think _ , he only thinks that she’s clueless and it only works because she  _ was _ , once and he knew her then - that she doesn’t know where anything important is, where anything that you  _ should _ aim at with senbon is. She watches him slowly relax and then she watches as the poison takes effect thanks to his own carelessness - thanks to his  _ ego _ . Sasuke always thought he was better than everyone else.

 

It seems he never grew out of it.

 

Sakura watches Sasuke fall in his own hubris and she smiles, because it seems that even after a defection and two years of growing apart, she still knows him better than he knows her.

 

* * *

 

She has to stop Sai from killing Sasuke half-way through their trip back. It’s a very irritating thing to have to do; and the only thing stopping her from killing him is Tenzou’s dirty look every time she goes to. 

 

(This, of course, only cements her theory of knowing him from ANBU - he is their team leader and if he is ANBU himself, he will have her record.)

 

Naruto refuses to talk to her, so she distracts herself with how  _ good _ it feels to stab Sasuke every two or so hours.

 

_ That’s not a very healthy thought _ , Inner says.

 

_ No, _ Sakura agrees,  _ no, it isn’t. _

 

(She doesn’t mind.)

 

* * *

 

They get back to Konoha and after dropping Sasuke off at T&I and reporting to Tsunade-shishou, she goes straight to Ino’s house. It’s late and she already knows that Ino isn’t on a mission (okay, so, saying she went straight to Ino’s house was a lie - she stopped off at the mission desk and asked Iruka if Ino was in Konoha), so she’s likely at home. 

 

Slipping into her girlfriend’s window proves her right, as she finds a kunai at her jugular before she’s even fully in the room.

 

“Ino,” she says; and it comes out rushed, half-sobbed.

 

“Sakura?” Ino asks - rhetorically, as she drops the kunai and pulls Sakura into a hug before she can reply. “What happened?”

 

“I got the Sasuke mission,” she says, burying her face in Ino’s neck. “I got the Sasuke mission and I brought him back but Naruto probably hates me after what I said-”

 

“Oh, Sakura,” Ino says, soft and kind. She pulls Sakura into her arms, heaving them both back onto the bed. She cries until she’s empty, until exhaustion tugs at her, until she falls into the open arms of unconsciousness with her head pillowed on her girlfriend’s chest.

 

* * *

 

“Uchiha Sasuke, traitor to Konoha,” Tsunade starts; and Sakura tunes out the rest of the trial - instead, she watches, with an unholy sort of glee, the expression that forms on his face as he’s sentenced to house arrest and bound chakra. It’s not enough, really, but it  _ is _ somehow - it’s just enough to please her; to please Inner. 

 

Speaking of Inner, she laughs and laughs and laughs in Sakura’s head; and Sakura, used to thinking, laughs with her. She never shows it on her face.

 

_ We won _ , Inner says, smug.  _ The egoistic bastard. Lost to a poor pink-haired civilian girl. _

 

Sakura threads her arm through Ino’s and thinks,  _ It’s a good day _ .

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you guys enjoyed this! It was a super self-indulgent idea, encouraged by the [Genjutsu Support Group](https://discord.gg/J55gftf) over on discord, whoops.
> 
> Obligatory come find me on [tumblr](https://felinedetached.tumblr.com/)!


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